Anticipated serendipity

2011-02-20T00:33:00.001+08:00

Hello people I've moved to www.clairetoh.tumblr.com
Help me click my nuffnang again! Won't be posting here anytime soon I guess
Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

LoveQuotesRus

2011-02-15T05:38:00.000+08:00

LoveQuotesRus

2011-02-14T02:33:00.002+08:00

I thought i'd have nothing much to fret but the truth probably is, i'll never be able to be free from all these shit. Not until everything is settled but there's still a long way to go till then.
I'm tired.. i don't wish to fret.

2011-02-13T05:30:00.001+08:00

I took my medicine and I'm freaking drowsy but I can't fall asleep because I started ranting on twitter and am feeling so fucked up.

My younger sister again, took my itouch and earpiece without asking. Just yesterday I told her to freaking not touch my things or ask before she take, today she did it again. Nevermind about that shit. She spoilt the earpiece that nam bought me.

She returned home and I asked the itouch from her. She returned it to me with her face fucking black. Nvm, after continuing w my show, I looked and realised that the earpiece was spoilt. I went into the room and asked her and her reply was " oh I spoilt it" and that's all.
What the shit? First she did not ask, secondly she has her freaking earpiece, thirdly she did not fucking inform me she spoilt my stuff and lastly she didn't fucking apologise at all.
What the shit?
And that was the earpiece I valued a lot. It's a gift from nam, albeit it's only $14 bucks?
I have tonnes of earpiece but whenever I can't remember where I put this, I'd go crazy and start searching for it. I won't feel good as long as I couldn't find it. This is the earpiece that I fear losing or misplacing. And now, she freaking spoilt it.
I ranted on twit and I actually cried. This is really one thing I valued. :(

Why can't she ever understand? That it has been countless of time. Be it my shirt, my shoes, my itouch, my earpiece or whatever shit.
All I'm asking is for her to ask before taking/lending. What's so difficult? She always promised she'd ask the next time. But hell no.
Its not as if I won't lend it to her if she ask. She know it best herself. Its not the first nor second.
She fucking don't ask.
Even if you don't ask, fucking inform. What's so difficult? U can sms me or even bbm me. What's so difficult? Fucking hell.
Ya and she'd go tell her friends I abused her cos I almost slapped her just now. Go ahead man. Seriously
You're seriously crossing the line.

Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

Have a little faith

2011-02-13T04:04:00.000+08:00

Mesmerizing smile you have there whenever you play with animals.

You never know how pretty you are :)

2011-02-10T03:59:00.001+08:00

So it's actually still CNY but I don't have any festive feeling. I'm down with fever n flu for days and I haven't been attending school. Ahh, the thought of all the homeworks and fnn stuffs I feel like running away. Sigh, this year is kinda major for me! I'm not young anymore and I need to get back on track.
On a random note, I have gotten another blackberry. The only thing I don't like about this is it's trackpad. I prefer the trackball. But I had to change because the memory was to its capacity and it's getting on my nerves as it as lagging on me real bad. One thing I like about this is that I am able to read and type chinese as it's an Asian pac. The prev was probably a europe set. I am so the very cheena so I find it difficult that I can't type chinese! I'm trying to make baby change too! Hehe, gonna pester her to sell her 9700 for this 9780! Then we can communicate in chinese. Ahaha FAILZZZ. So any takers for bb bold 9700?!

My bimbo sisters are all using 9780 as well, so kinda dope that we are all blackberry users. But well, my meimei is still an iphone idiot! She wants to change to iphone 5 when it's out. Ahahaha!
I finally got my nuffnang cheque. So should I continue my plan to move to tumblr or.. Continue to earn my so very difficult 50bucks from nuffnang in blogger? Ahahaha
But I'm kinda lazy to post anyway. And I'm a tumblr idiot, not like nam.

My high profile clubber girl, I love you :) be less high profile-d man, even my friends stalk on you. I JEALOUS! Ahaha
Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

2011-02-09T04:18:00.001+08:00

Fuck damn it. All the damn things. Fuck it all. Fucking vulgar now cause am feeling fucked up.
Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

2011-02-07T04:40:00.001+08:00

别再在做情人，做只猫做只狗至少可爱迷人
Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

2011-02-06T17:02:00.001+08:00

I'm back from Malaysia! Finally went back to Malaysia to spend CNY after 6 long years. Things have changed and everyone grew up, it weren't as fun as it used to be. Nevertheless, better than spending it in Singapore w relatives from Dad's side. But maybe its also because that I've grown, that I don't feel that it was as fun. Because I can be so delighted and excited to just 放炮！ the very simple one, that you ignite it and throw it then it'd exploded w a loud bang. Now, it no longer seem to be as fun as it used to. ( But I still bought a carton of it to play )
Maybe because after ah gong's house was burned down, everyone was scattered and it is no longer as bonded.
I remember us( the kids ) have to sit on the other table to eat reunion dinner. Not only that, we have to wait for many "rounds" because there's so many of us! Good old times.
Maybe the more you wanna 回味, the more distant it becomes.

I arrived at 3am last night and I had a hard time falling asleep even tho I'm tired.
I missed baby, so much that I cried. I feel so empty. I woke up not knowing what to do, what can I do. Except walking n feeding the dogs. After that it seems like I've completed my mission for the day and I'm alone again.
Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

2011-02-03T02:07:00.001+08:00

Sudd remember my meimei saying I look very ugly when I sleep. But baby finds me cute!
I love looking at baby sleep because she looks so peacefully in sleep, just like a baby. She smiles whenever I kiss her in her sleep.
But gradually, I influenced baby with my morning temper :(
Baby always wakes up happy, smiling. But after awhile, she no longer does. And I influenced her my bad nocturnal lifestyle.
Hope that you'll be like yourself, without me now. That you always wake up happily and not being grumpy. And for my part, I will change. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry From M1.

2011-02-01T03:06:00.000+08:00

Trust me when i say i have what it takes to be your man.

2011-02-01T03:03:00.000+08:00

It's late at night and i should sleep. but i was wondering about us, thinking about you.
1. I want to go on a picnic with you.
2. I want to bring you everywhere
3. I want to cuddle in bed with you
4. I want to cook you your fav food
5. I want to see your grumpy face.
6. I want to sayang you
7. I want to kiss your forehead
8. I want to see you bian zui :*) ( Makes me worried yet happy at the same time )
Cause you look damn cute when you do that.
9. I want you to sajiao to me
10. I want to sayang you like a baby
11. I want to feed you fat fat
12. I want to watch shows with you on pps.
13. I want to watch all your Angmoh movie with you
14. Then make you watch all my 港剧 with me
15. Want you to speak canto to me.
16. Want to speak canto to you
17. WANT TO .... Heeeeeheeee

You

2011-01-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

When i go HongKong in June or Sept, i promise to travel to places with you. I'll learn to bring you around and be your man. I'll do my researches and ask friends who had traveled to hk before. I'll bring you around and be your man. Even though i don't know a shit now.

I won't let you be alone. I will take 小巴 with you, take trains with you and go everywhere.

I wanted to say bring you everywhere. But Hk not like Singapore.

So..... i'll go to every corner at Hung Hom With you.

I know you're scared now.. i will help you conquer your fears.

I have said this countless time, but for sure, i'll remain faithful.

Please, don't see "leng zai" until forget me hor!

2011-01-29T17:06:00.000+08:00

They say i have a player face, but i say i have got no player traits.

5th day.

2011-01-29T16:52:00.000+08:00

It is indeed not easy adjusting to your absence. But i'm happy that you're happy over there!
I miss you terribly and i know you do too. Boyboy and ZaiZai misses you too!
So life is kinda boring to me now. Friends have been asking me out but i'd rather stay at home and rot.

People have been saying, i won't wait for you for too long, i won't remain faithful and stuffs.
Some even think that we're only together for merely 8 months, how am i gonna wait for you.
Well, then i say, the depth of a relationship can never be measured by how long we're together.
Some relationship can end after 20 years, while some get married only after months.
It's hard to predict the future, but i won't let this relationship go down the drain just because we're physically apart. Remember, apart, but a part.
So somehow, time will prove them wrong. They haven't seen my determination, not yet.

You'll always be my baby

2011-01-25T20:28:00.001+08:00

So the day I dreaded the most have arrived. She was tearing when she left for the departure gate, but she didn't turn back. I bet tears were falling. I had the urge to run towards her and hug her close and never let go. But it's kinda impossible.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-01-25T19:46:00.001+08:00

Hi
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

IMG00222-20110113-2304.jpg

2011-01-14T08:32:00.000+08:00

Pretty bb cover and pretty nails. But never prettier than you :)
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

IMG00219-20110113-2257.jpg

2011-01-13T23:02:00.000+08:00

Xin Wang now!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-01-11T18:02:00.001+08:00

I know I have so much to catch up. And I'm distracted. I know I'm a disappointment

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-01-10T01:59:00.003+08:00

XXX

2011-01-06T04:44:00.000+08:00

I detest coming home. I can't wait to move out after all the legal proceedings to somewhere home. I don't like to see my dad and his bitch. I don't like to see ah hua uncle working so hard. I don't like to see mom getting drunk every night. Last night, I actually dreamt that mom asked me what's keeping me away from home, is it that I'm having any unhappiness at home? It seemed so real that I thought she probably texted me or smth that I woke up looking through my messages. I don't like having wars with my sister. It's disheartening enough that my meimei is becoming more and more materialistic, just like da jie. Going for all the labels and material stuffs. For it's an open secret that I hate materialistic and plastic people. I shall not go on and rant about how mom kept asking money from me when I didn't earn much and she actually complimented meimei for being "good" because she gave some of her pay to her. Think about how much she earn okay. At the end of the day, monetary contributions is above everything. To think she actually forked out probably more than a hundred to help meimei buy her blackberry bold 3. Need I say more? I buy my own stuffs be it branded or not with only $7 a day and I freaking provide for my dog.
But I like to sayang my mother. At the end of the day, when she's drunk, or when she's sick, I like to sayang her because she's my mom.
Almost every time, all the "wei qu" I felt would vanish when she show the slightest concern or sayang me a little. Am I not a good daughter? Or not enough?
Like I said, I need no rewards or special treatment for all the things I have done for the family. Just mere acknowledgments on your part would be fair enough. Okay. I'm starting to sound like some wayward delinquent that feels that mom is always wrong. So I shall stop. HAHA
I wanna thank baby for being with me and putting up with all their nonsense. For standing up for me and feeling unjust for me most of the time. For protecting me from all the monsters :) xie xie ni
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-01-06T04:14:00.000+08:00

It's 4am in the morning and I can't get to sleep. There's school later and I'm gonna have breakfast with my king before heading to school while she go home and sayang the dog dog ;) hehe the dogs are over @ her place, sleeping on the bed with the fan on-ed. Shiok life. I came out to smoke and still took a look into the balcony and realised they're not there. Haha had pork chop for supper+dinner just now. Gonna upload photos probably at a very late time. I enjoyed myself with baby in Malaysia. But now holiday's over and I gotta set my mind straight again. Finally gonna take Ns and I guess I cannot afford to make any mistake. There's so much "maybe-s" on my mind. But for now. I shall just go pee and sleep.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-30T03:50:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Malaysia!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-14T21:04:00.001+08:00

I love Wong Ying Nam :)
Be mine, for as long as you can :)
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-13T17:57:00.001+08:00

Hehehehehehehehe. I'm a happy girl. I've been staying over w the dogs at baby's place for more than a week. We're departing to Jb-Genting-KL-Sunway lagoon on Friday! Excited. Haven't been to Genting since I was a kid. Pretty much earned enough for the trip but I'm worrying about what's gonna happen after the trip.
My bank is left w 1 dollar and all the fifty dollar notes hidden in my wallet compartment is goneeeeee. But nevermind, as long as we've spent it happily. That's all that matters isn't it. I'm going for crystal jade steamboat later. And we finally ate kui-shinbo! I'm sure baby is a happy girl.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

Instax mini films

2010-12-11T18:46:00.001+08:00

Selling polaroid films for $12. Interested buyer can contact me at wintermelonn@hotmail.com
Polaroid cameras also for sale, prices unconfirmed so if interested tell me the model no and I quote u the price. Thanks
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

Event ended today! And so I have been working temp jobs with baby and we've earned enough for our trip to malaysia. We kinda bagged a cheap deal, 250 for Genting and KL which includes the ticket for outdoor themepark @ genting and Sunway lagoon. The original trip was Genting-KL-Sunway-malacca but we're forgoing malacca and staying in either KL or my kampong and we'd prolly spend christmas there. Hehehehe. Quite excited at the mention of it. Boyboy+zai and me is over at baby's place!
Haven't been really returning home and I kinda dread returning home too. I mean since whatever efforts I put in equates to nothing and I'm always deemed as the self centered one then so be it :) tried for so many years to change mom's perception but it's not working so, yea.
Dad was hospitalised and I was supposed to visit him but I was working, then when i thought that maybe I'd drop by the other day. He got discharged. So right now I'm the unfilial one. Hohoho.
I love spending time over @ baby's place as she definitely feel more comfortable here and we don't get disturbed. She says I look happier here and I'm less grumpy. Life's pretty much about us with the dogs and I can't imagine having to adapt to her absence. But it'd be soon..
Shall just enjoy the days and the rest can wait,definitely.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-04T01:27:00.001+08:00

2010-12-04T00:20:00.001+08:00

Yay. So I'm able to post now. But I guess I'm still gonna move once nuffnang hits 50. Soon! One more dollar!! Click click for me!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-03T23:40:00.001+08:00

Testing testing
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

If i were to design our house in future, i'd use minimal black as i know you don't really like black.
Our bed would be a king sized on top of a wooden platform.
There would be pretty mirror that doesn't look scary. No tv in the room.
I'd also piece up the statue puzzle of a big sized mickey and minnie mouse.
No cages for our dogs and they'd be able to roam freely.
irobot vacuum cleaner, or maybe something more high-tech when the time comes.
Or maybe there won't be any rooms.. A studio house at that.

Just some random thoughts and i'd definitely work hard for that to happen and if we doesn't part.

Happy 6th month.

2010-11-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

Dear mom, I dot understand why. Why is it that you didn't even give me a call on the day the day that I was supposed to accompany you to legal aid? Ecause you have da jie with you and I become non existance? There wasn't any call at all. And hen she's not free to accompany you, you'd be calling me non stop. And most of the fucking time you'd call only is when you're complaining that the dogs is smelly. Or when you needed me to do stuffs.
Is it because I never bothered to be like them, only showing affections here and there. But whenever you needed them to do things I'm the only one available?
All these years I've been trying not to resent. Been trying to remind myself that I should think of the thigs you did for me and not the things you didn't.
But time and again, I only remember how you put me down in front of ur friends and relative. How you took me as a joke.
I tried to forget that you're biased. Tried to think you've stop being biased. Be it the simplest thing like giving pocket money. Outsiders can see how important and how much I care about the family, but you only think that I'm self centered.
If I'm self centered, then what about them? About how much money they get, about where to shop for dresses, where to play, where to shop.
And it seems that I never needed appreciations, just mere acknowlegements. There isn't. I don't need to fight for affections. But why is it you always say I'm bad cos I smokes and I retained?
Argh I'm done ranting.
Whatever it is, I still love you,mom.

2010-11-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

Hehe. I'm still here at baby's place and she's working as usual.
We've been here since.. Saturday. :) This is like a holiday house for zaizai and boyboy.
Boyboy is a good boy today! He didn't anyhow pee as much and he actually shit in the toilet just now :)

emm i still failed to wake up early today but i woke up happily with my baby. Hehe but i don't remember if i woke up first or did she wake up and waited for me. I'm so sorry that baby haven't been sleeping well
And i actually 吵醒 baby in the middle of the night hohoho. I woke her and boyboy and zaizai up.
And i actually fell asleep first while baby continue surfing the net.

Although i've been trying hard not to feel affected by the fact that baby's leaving.. But i can't help tearing yesterday. The sky was dark and the room was so quiet, with baby and both the dogs sleeping.
I felt lonely at that instant and wanted to hear baby's voice but i don't bear to wake her up because i know she's dead tired. Who knows she was awoken by me and she actually knew i was crying :'(
Yea i guess i'm still harboring some false hopes that things would change and she won't need to leave but deep down i know all's set and nothing would change.
I'd miss this place.. Miss everything about you, us, your house, everything about us.
I'm still trying to convince myself that you'd have better prospect if you're back to homeland. That it'd be better for you. Then i would feel less anguish.
But i know best that you need to have me around.
Just like this morning you waking up from a nightmare, it's here and i'm able to sayang you.
ARGH

HEHEHEHE tomorrow i'm going for training for SITEX itfair and then i'm going gai gai with baby. We haven't been going out since Friday :)
Me and baby now watching 巾帼枭雄之意海豪情. Damn fucking nice.
And i jokingly told baby that when she's back in HK, She would be able to laugh at me cause she gets to view them faster than i can. HAHAHAHAHA

Wong Ying Nam

2010-11-23T00:40:00.001+08:00

She gave me the privilege to spoil her, to hold her, to hug her, to kiss her, and to love her. She chose to make herself vulnerable to me and me alone. It was never easy to open her heart fully and i did.

She may be fierce, but i'm the privileged one to be able to see her soft side. She behaves like a kid at times and the other, a women. She might be dense at times, but she's damn cute. She is sweet but i never expected her to be so loving, so great. She's quiet in the beginning with that super dao face but you'll never expect to see how she reacts with little kids and animals. I love that look on her face whenever we're playing with kittens, dogs or even little kids on the streets. I like how she fight for me and how she believes in me. Just like how she never gives up on me and our relationship no matter how bad a quarrel we had. She made me believe in myself, that i can. She pushed me and tried all approaches be it the hard way or the soft way. I love the way she cares. The tiniest bits of expressions that is so priceless. The things she say and do suddenly that can make me smile even when i think of them now. Yes she is awesome. She said before that she wants to be the best gf i ever had, the girl she love the most and the one that treats me the best. Now, i can tell you that yes you're. The best i ever and will have, the one that i love the most and definitely the one that treated me the best. Yes it's barely 6 months into relationship but i have always been a firm believer that the depth of love can never be measured by the duration. You definitely have a real impact on my life. And no matter what, i will never leave you alone, neither will i hurt you. How hard it have been, for you to have faith in us that we'd work, the determination that made you stay and continue loving me despite that i am a cheater. Despite that fact at how a bastard i was to go Play when you were in HK, the tears you cried. The pub i went, the beer i drank. It wasn't easy. You gave me something you know i can break, that is your heart. I will spoil you as much as i can, hold your hands as much as i can. I will hug you as tightly as i can and kiss you as passionately as i can. I'd love you and treat you as well as i can. I won't want to waste any time. I'd cherish you because i know i cannot possibly find another like you, never. Or rather i never want to find any one else.

There might be hotter girls out there, prettier ones, or whatever but i don't give a shit because you're hot enough to me, pretty enough to me and really, the best i can ever have. You used to say i'm cheesy or rather just saying things to make you happy. but no, i am not. Because i dare to admit that ever since i'm with you, i never glanced at any women/girls, i never look, never think. Not their eyes, not their figure, not their boobs nor their legs. Those times i spent alone be it eating, travelling to find you, it was all about you. No matter how hard i try to convince you, you never believed, but seriously! you're damn pretty to me. DAMN

You see! tell me where not pretty! AHH

You make me go gah-gah over you and you make me mad happy. the times we spent, the things we did, the things we're gonna do.

I can go on and on and on and i really want to shake you awake now and say everything to you. but then.. you're tired. :(

I love you and i will continue to sayang you like mad, treat you the best within my capabilities and make you feel like a REAL KING, my King :)

I shall take those years as a test for us.

2010-11-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

I'm currently on baby's bed with boy and zai waiting for my King to knock off :)
Been sleeping together everyday since before the start of holidays <3
Watched many many dramas and we're gonna start working soon. After that we'd head to KL. Can't wait seriously.
Overall i'm happy and satisfied, just unhappy that i haven't been able to wake up early and i'm always being so fierce to baby unwittingly in the morning. Every night i'd force myself to bed so i'd be able to wake up and on the other hand i'd be so afraid to fall asleep because i'm afraid of not being able to wake up on time. There's no time to waste now.

Yea, i sent my thumbdrive to repair and it seems that the "injury" it received isnt little. So special that it has to be sent to a "specialist" to fix it and not only that. Even the specialist cannot guarantee the recovery of the datas. Keeping my fingers crossed. It'd cost me more than a hundred to retrieve the datas. Actually i don't bother about my fnn coursework or anything that's saved inside. It's about the pictures of me and my King.
Yea i know that i do have a big portion of all the pictures either on fb or blog or on her comp, but i mind not being able to get back the small portion. :<

The other day, i stayed at home and i felt so ... out of sorts. Kinda don't know what else i can do beside being by my baby. Anyhoo i kinda dread staying at home nowadays. And i'm so stressed by so many things and it doesn't seems to end. As long as the housing stuffs isn't settled, i can never be in peace. And i do resent the fact that none of my sisters are doing anything to help. Except fighting for "affections" from mommy and those little time that they spent with mommy and to them it seems like a significant contribution or anything. Seriously, do they give a fuck? Do they know what's going on and what's going to happen?
And what the shit, paying $250 a month doesn't make you a queen. Mom wants a home, not a house.
Monetary contribution is important. But what about the level of genuine concern from you?
Sometimes i keep quiet because of the fact that i'm a penniless student at the age of 17 finally being promoted with no job that you can go on and laugh at me. But at the end of the day, 我问心无愧.
I cannot remember how many fucking times i have ranted about this on this blog, but heck it.

Change of plans! i'm gonna fetch my king now. Gonna tiptoe out so that i won't disturb the "prince(s)"

2010-11-11T12:17:00.000+08:00

害怕你一个人会不习惯，害怕你这个小孩子没人照顾，害怕你会害怕，害怕你因为太过依赖我，所以不能适应。害怕你需要我的时候我不能陪你。真的很担心

但，我更怕你独立，怕你成长，怕你适应，怕你学会不依赖我，也怕你不再孩子气。

5 months. I haven't had enough of you. I haven't hugged you enough, haven't loved you enough, haven't treat you well enough, haven't kissed you enough, haven't spent as much time as enough, haven't feel you enough. i haven't sayang you enough, i haven't kissed your forehead enough. There's still alot of things we have yet to complete, still a lot of time not spent yet.

i hope this 5months, plus the 75 days left is enough to withstand the 3 years that we'd be apart.

Time passes and people change. There's no definite yes or no in how things will become.
I choose to have faith.

2010-11-11T01:57:00.002+08:00

I'm afraid. but i gotta be strong

2010-11-11T01:53:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday, Baby said i looked happy when we woke up. She smiled so brightly when she said that i have the happy face, and asked me to look into the mirror.

But right now, i dont know if i can still be as happy. 75 days.

But there's no time to be emo.

And i fucking want to retrieve all the data back from my thumbdrive!! :'(

2010-10-28T06:14:00.000+08:00

This picture is too cute to not post it up. But apparently this doesn't apply to me.
And i am so proud so say i don't view my ex. (Y)
But still, this picture us damn cute. At least to me. hehe

2010-10-28T03:29:00.000+08:00

she makes me happy and makes the dorkier side of me come out!
She's plain awesome, need i say more?
She love me for who i am. and mind you, i look real silly and kiddo when i'm dorky
i'm grumpy in the morning and i behave like a kid when i'm sick.
She takes care of me and feed me with medicine :)

2010-10-26T03:51:00.002+08:00

So many hates going on nowadays, so many people being discriminated just because of their sexual orientation. some commited suicide, many got bullied, taunted and attacked everyday and live in fear. But what have they done wrong? It isn't wrong to love.

Fight for gay rights, fight for human rights, fight for justice and equality. Fight to make a difference.

I'm contented that i'm accepted by my families, friends and people around me. though i can never stop passerby-s from staring at my display of affections, i can never stop people from pointing and wondering what's my gender or stop people from labelling, insulting and calling names. I'm contented enough to be embraced by my loved ones.

" because haters gonna hate. all they do is hate and get green-eyed but it doesn't matter to me because i'm happy and loved. " - me

Oh and let me share with you what i saw on the net.
" (Gays are disgusting, but Lesbians are sweet because why watch only 1 girl in such video when you can see 2 at once. Buy 1 get 1 Free somemore!!! So must watch lesbian rather than straight ones.....) "
Probably by some losers who isn't loved and can only wank off to vids. How pathetic

2010-10-26T03:39:00.000+08:00

Aww.

She is like magic. Look at all the magical things she can do.

The lorry ride \m/

Picture perfect :) Love of my life

The pictures are all not in order. Heh.
My baby is damn awesome.
We shopped in daiso for an hour today. cool shitzz.
Bought stuffs for dogdogs. hehe
I feel that the bond between us is growing stronger. Random
We did so much things! bbq-ing and all.
And i'm sure we're going to Genting.
Oh and the other day, we went SP to watch TouchRugby match? Nothing awesome. Maybe it's the school that's competing like baby said. Maybe my views will change after watching the finals.
My results are awesome ^^

I love playing the playground with you and boyboy and zaizai.
I love that you enjoy bringing them to sleep at your place.
I love cuddling with you.
You're amazing. HAHA but i'm not gonna dedicate that "Just the way you are" song. It's getting cliche. With everyone dedicating to their love and it becoming a wedding anthem. HOHO.
But you're seriously amazing. :)

2010-10-25T16:09:00.000+08:00

back for more!

2010-10-20T00:57:00.000+08:00

Your smile makes my day!

I love you :)
Everyone is telling me that they're proud of me, but all i'm proud of, is that you're proud of me! :)
I'm contented i have you! You know what, i love seeing old couples, because they show us that forever love can exist.
And i love that you love my dogs :)

Bringing boyboy and sleep on your bed! hehe

2010-10-13T01:22:00.002+08:00

So pretty right!

I love my gf :)

2010-10-12T19:44:00.000+08:00

actually i had a lot of photos to be uploaded but it was gone cause i clicked the wrong thing. so haha!
i'm off to dajie's birthday chalet now!

I think i will pass fnn and geog! whee. i was almost late for fnn today and i overslept for bio. Cabbed and there's jam.

Gonna wait for my dear girl to be ready and we're off. wheeee

2010-10-05T03:06:00.003+08:00

An I continued sleeping on gf's bed when she went for exams as I was still sick. And she woke me up when she got home :)

Ahhhhh I'm drowning in love.but eh now exam period. Damn

2010-10-05T02:55:00.000+08:00

Hola! Can see that my blog is dead isn't it. Well basically because I won't die without Internet. Haha what's the need for Internet when I have such wonderful gf and happy life.
So now it's exam periods and I'm mugging with baby. But we spent a lovely day without stepping out of the house yesterday! Cooked lunch and dinner for gf and her bro while watching tv and reading newspaper. Doesn't sound enticing right? It was splendid!.
Oh and I actually smoked so little yesterday. Thus baby said she's gonna reward me w movie this weekend. Shall spam pictures then! Can't wait. Lovely.

2010-09-27T11:22:00.000+08:00

And so I was late for school today! Have been sleeping at baby's house since wednesday! Of course I did went home to take care of boyboy! The other day, we woke up early! And studied! Had breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not lunch dinner supper! Studied at the library, Mac and at a Study corner. Productive much! Baked cookies last night. Superb!
Damn sian now. Sec 1 classmate relieving my class now. Okay so awkward. And he used to be so 'envious' of my history marks. What now.
School is wasting my time.
Okay gonna make use of the time and revise forth
Exams.
With my iPod and some canto songs. Swee

2010-09-20T02:42:00.001+08:00

Okay so currently I'm very satisfied with my life. It just feels so different, like I know you're the one, definitely.
Spending time with my girl, My sons and family. Like nothing else matters besides them. Studies of course cos I need to make sure I can support my gf in future. Heh.
I'm having a difficult time falling asleep. Too used to having you with me baby!

On a random note. I'm so damn happy to have woke up in re morning and had breakfast with her. And we went town to study. Productive much.
And I love times when we just cuddle and watch dramas together. Or even making the bed for you, it just mean so much.

2010-09-15T06:06:00.002+08:00

I'd be your old man, if you want me.
I'd wake you up with kisses before preparing breakfast for you. I want to be the love of your life.
And i am not gonna be a mistake that you've made. I'll show you that you've made the right choices. For falling in love with me and staying thru the heartaches. I've cheated once in my life, Never twice. And definitely not on you.
The day will never come when we'd walk away awkwardly from each other on the streets and looking like we've never kissed passionately before, because i'd never let you go.
IF, and if only you found a better guy, a guy whom will love you more than i do or can bring more happiness to you. For now, i doubt so.As I'm ever trying to be the best you can ever have, the one you can never live without.
I'd text you every min we're apart. I'd give you all my attentions. I need no Facebook or Twitter when i am with you. I smile when i receives your messages in the morning and frowns when i don't see any. I want to be the one that you look forward to spending your life with. I know i can't make it in time to enter a uni with you, but dear, it won't be long and soon, i'd be catching up with your footstep. We'd enter the society together and earn our keeps. I'd work hard to provide a home, for us.
I promise to marry you in Canada and make you my certified wife.
I'd buy you your fav milk bun frm your favourite shop. I'd eat yogurts with you, i'd eat cold pasta with you, i'd bring to island creamery, i'd walk around bukit timah with you. i'd learn to cook all your fav foods and feed you :) i won't let you be alone, you'll never be lonely.
And i always promise to close your windows and pull the curtains when it's pouring, i'd be there to hold you and sayang you to sleep. I'd put toothpaste on your toothbrush and wait for you to wash up.
Thanks for staying through the difficult moments and heartaches. I appreciate you and the things you've done.
I love you.
And i really want to be your old man.
Idk if this works, but you're beautiful and i want to grow old with you

2010-09-12T01:59:00.002+08:00

Been so lazy to update. Updating for the sake for the $50 i will get from my nuffnang ads. ABIT MORE.

Been spending lots of time with my darling. Sleeping together as well. Love times like this.
Dk what to update.
Okay, That day brought my meimei to NUH for her post-op consultation.

And we made an impromptu decision to head to baby's house to swim and tan. It was damn fun.

Baked cookies at baby's house. One of my b's magic. :)

Had sakae buffet at West Coast Plaza. We were both damn hungry and i think we didn't take pictures of the food. Hehe.

Pretty nails my gf painted for me! :)

Studied at mac from 1am plus till 5 am plus.
which includes eating, gazing at each other, talking a lil bit. and mugging.
Drank beer and chatted at the playground. And we saw a cute kitten.
Really small and fierce. Tried but couldn't touch it cause it was damn scared. poor kitten.

And i love the way we are now. Honeymoon period or not.
I'm happy with you. And i won't stop trying to make you happy
You're pretty to me. Inside out.
I love you.
Altho it has been long since we last dated, last watched movie, it doesn't matter. I'd bring you everywhere after your promos.I remember the places you wanted to visit. And i shall bring you there :)
Fort canning park, Botanic gardens, SPCA, Dog farms, Malaysia, Thailand, Marina Barage, Fluff at raffles area, Zoo and the universal studios. After your promos, baby. :)
I'll mug now, and work during the holidays so i'd be able to bring you to places.

2010-09-02T05:22:00.000+08:00

Okay on a lighter note. Happy 3rd month baby! It feels more than that. Because my life practically revolves around you right now.
Okay. School sucks as usual. I don't make friends anymore and I'm always alone. I think it'd suck more when everyone graduates. If I don't promote I can die n bang wall already. Time flies and it's like sept now. Like wow. I didn't even realize. Haven't been meeting friends so I'm kinda still in my own world. But that's not a bad thing. Well, people come and go but true one stays. If I'm worth remembering.
Haha, on a random note. I'm happy I've gotten my jacket and hoodie back! Like since forever. And so she got back her phone. And I like the way it is. Prolly even better if she'll stop contacting with my mom, like totally.

2010-09-02T05:11:00.000+08:00

Don't you just hate it that all the insecurities creeps in only late in the night. I tried not to think about it. Yes hurt, unhappy. But at the end of the day, it only adds on to my unworthiness. Nope, not anger. Not angry at all. Maybe it just makes me feel smaller, unworthier.

Ha, damn this emo shits.

2010-09-02T05:01:00.001+08:00

Because Idk the way of love. I don't make you feel special enough. Because I only eat Chinese food other than fish n chips n fast food. Because I can't eat koshinbo with you. Because you can't have xlb buffets or ice cream buffets with me. Because I can't enjoy pastamania with you. Because you can't eat ikea's meatball with me. Because you have to eat pepper lunch alone. Because I don't appreciate yogurts or salads. Because I you can't join cross country with me. Because your mom doesn't have good impression of me anymore.
Because I smokes. Because I'm a bore idk how to surprise you. Because I can't be the one who motivates you, I can't be the one whom you can study with. Because I ain't the one whom you feel like a kid when you talk to, like all your maturity disappears and you just wanna talk. Because you can't believe I will be faithful and not cheat. Because I can't be the one who will make ou say " only ... Doted on me the most". Because I can't be the one that you ll say that treated you and loved you the most. Because I'm still in secondary school. Because I'm useless. Because.

All I have is my love for you.

2010-09-02T01:24:00.000+08:00

He does not love, so he does not lose love - which hurts as much as it brings joy, perhaps more. And if he never felt how it feels like to love, then perhaps he'd be just fine since he'd just not know what he's missing.

2010-09-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

I suddenly miss my old 1E5 classmates.
So proud that we always have outings. Sec 1 was like so many years ago.
I'm so dead. idk what to post because theres so much.
but things are better left unsaid. isnt it

2010-09-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

I shall not lose faith.

I love the way we are

2010-08-18T02:27:00.003+08:00

想笑　來偽裝掉下的眼淚
點點頭　承認自己會怕黑

It's late at night and i can't sleep. Missing you just runs too deep.

I'm cold and tired.

2010-08-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

I miss you. :'(

2010-08-13T00:41:00.002+08:00

Okay, i'm free to do some proper updates.
- Bought couple watch ^^ the one that i like and the first i've ever bought. That makes it even more significant.
- Had Popeyes with B for the first time
- Went back to Malaysia, first time in 5 years.
- Had Fish N Co with Baby, First time also.
- Spent lots of quality time (Y)
Heading to the supermarket and shopping for groceries. Buying Prawns and La-La home to cook or just shopping around for mom. Giant and Fairprice extra. From choosing apples to choosing Vegetables. Buying 1.5litre of Oolong Tea or Coffees. Heading to Pionner Mall countless times for McFlurry or Kopi-c Iced.
Having KFC and Curry Chicken. Almost satisfying every cravings for food that we have. Walking the dogs together, locking fingers with the leash. Sleeping beside each other holding hands or wherever. Being able to sleep soundly as long as our body touches. Catching Midnight movies and walking for hours.
Ding Tai Fung for xiao long bao and dan chao fan. Or to cha chan teng merely for it's iced yuan yang. Lying down and watching dramas together and laughing together. Having lunch with baby's family (Y)
And i'd never forget how you can make me laugh when i'm grumpy or when i'm crying. How you didn't let go of my hands and walked out of the condo. How you said i laugh like a horse and eat like i have a tummy of a cow with 6 stomachs. :) idk why i have such humongous appetite whenever i am with you. maybe cause i'm really happy :)
- Lesser arguments. (Y)
It's either we're sleeping with each other or being side by side or we'll webcam and sms non stop.

you never fail to make me smile, ever. i love being with you, sticking to you like superglue. you make me feel like i'm the luckiest girl on Earth for having you, the sweetest girl ever. Every moment spent with you is a moment i really treasure. And even tho handling relationship was never my forte, i'll make it work for us. As happy, as loving and as sweet as we are now. I'm appreciative and happy that you do sacrifice your work for me. But we'll have all the time in the world after promos. So don't feel that you'll neglect me, okay b? :)

ℒℴvℯ yℴu.

Burnt

2010-08-13T00:25:00.001+08:00

Okay, Finally remembered to get rid of trash.
Kinda forgotten about it's existence actually, Not that it still holds any significance till date.

Sentimental i may be but not on this.

2010-08-11T02:27:00.000+08:00

Will you still love me when my skin is old and saggy? & when i wet my pants?

2010-08-11T02:25:00.000+08:00

I love quality times that i've spent with you, be it just lying side by side watching dramas.

I enjoyed satisfying our craves for koi and your craves for popeyes :)

I love times with just the both of us, or with the dogs.

I love walking everywhere with you.

Let's stick together like super glue :)

2010-08-08T23:19:00.001+08:00

Cute cousin's son. haha

My jiujiu who really dote on us when we were there

Kampung.

Overall, i enjoyed myself going back to hometown and seeing almost all my relatives. Except the part where i think it'd be awesome if baby were with me.
Riding on motorcycles, Plucking Rambutan straight from the tree. Eating the yummy wanton noodles and bq stringray by my aunt. Awesome. And i followed my jiujiu to cut the banana leaves from the tree. Wonders of the kampung.
I want to bring baby there!

2010-08-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

Me love you.

2010-07-29T03:38:00.000+08:00

just can't you understand that i do want to go back, but i can't possibly just leave the dogs behind. it's not as easy as that. you said 'staying for dog is just an excuse'.
okay let's do it the easy way. you fucking give me money, i send boy for boarding and i'll go back of you.
he's more than just a dog to me.

fuck you big time

yes the best things in life can't be bought with money. i still believe in that

2010-07-26T23:02:00.001+08:00

Gone are the days where you write down relatives or friends birthday on your notebook or mark it on your phone's calender.
Because Facebook will notify you of any of your friends's birthday. And you'll never know who remembers your birthday anymore.
I still prefer wishing face to face as it's more sincere.
Technologies.. distance humans interaction.

2010-07-26T22:57:00.000+08:00

My mom damn smart, wants me to go back to Malaysia, she engaged the power of her sisters to call me non stop and ask me to go back. My aunt even threatened to poison my dog if i'm not going back. hah

2010-07-26T17:45:00.000+08:00

My mom went back to Malaysia and i'm at home with my grandmother.
Missed the bus home yesterday and stayed over at baby's place. Okay, actually i had enough to cab. i could have cabbed..But, i wanted to spend time with her. :)
It was raining cats and dogs in the morning and we slept thru.
Mom called and asked if i can go back to Malaysia with my sisters on Fri. Made me ponder for quite long.
I do feel like going back, visiting relatives and cousins. Some whom i haven't seen in years. But then, i'd be leaving my sons and gf behind. "/
Going back will means.. a break from civilization. Going back to kampungs and living the life without technologies. no facebook, no twitters. But it doesn't matter for i won't die without fb.
Walking endless roads cause there's no cabs. but i can probably ride on motorcycles! (Y)
Authentic Roti Pratas with Teh Tarik, Wanton noodles! Roadside stalls, Grandpa's home cooked food. Best.
Cheap cigarettes. Dunhill Mentol from Malaysia. Best. Cheap and delicious foods.
Okay, i get to relieve my childhood days, spend some time with my aunts and uncles. Play with stray dogs and now that i'm older, i can prolly visit. ktv-s with them.
Which also means there'd be endless questionings about why am i gay. I already got bombarded with that question from my uncle when he called me just now. " shen me bu hao gao, ni gao gay." seriously LOL
i'd prolly die cause they'll keep asking and ask me to be more feminine.
Or maybe i show them my gu-niang side and they'll be confused.
I'd probably come back with many mosquito bites and maybe.. with my Malaysian accent. (Y)

Or i'd be home. haha

2010-07-23T02:31:00.001+08:00

there you lie on your bed and tucked yourself under the blankets preparing drift off to sleep. And yet the brain starts processing. You start your day fresh thinking what happened was over. You never knew how to react straightaway for you always take in and process. Or rather, you never knew how to articulate your thoughts nor feelings. You feel the pain, yet you don't know what to say, because you always can't react straightaway. And by the time you start, it's probably too late or it's weird if you mention. Because it's supposed to be what happened the night before. You secretly wished tt things will still be the same, hugs will still feel the same when our eyes meet. Yes, it worked. But at the end of the day you still can't deceive yourself. You still feel thouse feelings. Those words said in a pique of anger or those moments of truth.
Maybe you had something to be ego-istic about. Or somethings you did tt you probably feels proud of, or is confident about. But when the truth comes, you find yourself being demoralised. Stripped bare of any single thing that's left on your lil self esteem. How should i say? Because you never meant to demoralise. And you're not to blame.

Oh well, wake up. Nobody loves pathetic shits who isn't confident to proclaim their love. Nobody loves shits who can't believe in themselves. Either you learn or pretend. Your call.

2010-07-23T02:09:00.001+08:00

Things that can only be felt.
We're happy when we're together.
From now on, there'll be no more talks about agacia, mj nor aijia. Just u and me.

2010-07-16T01:56:00.002+08:00

Maybe you just won't believe that i really love you much. Or maybe it's nothing compared to your ex.

Maybe i'd never be good enough. Or maybe they're way better.

Maybe i can't even compare to them. Or maybe ..

maybe.

Or i'm prolly just like mom have said.
an utter failure.

Let's just admit i'm one and i don't deserve anything.

"And yet she cries on the train, and off the train, and down the hill, and on the bus, and in the washroom, and under the shower, and now once again, when she looks blankly at her assignments and sees nothing but tears"

See how much i've failed, again

2010-07-16T01:41:00.000+08:00

Yes you're the one and only reason that makes me not want to stay at home yet you're also the reason why i'd want to come back.
And yet home isn't the place i can seek solace in when i'm feeling down
When i'm feeling so guilty about spending so much time outside, trying to rush home and yet i was greeted by either a drunkard or some fucked up faces.
if you seriously wanna leave or you seriously feel so unhappy being in this family, giving to this family. then just leave. I'm tired of hearing you whine and whine non stop about us. As if i haven't tried hard enough.
If you will only love me when i produces good results then thank you so much you can save it. you make me out to be such a failure. when everyone around me tries to tell me i am not. and of all people you. you don't see the efforts i put in, how much pain and heartache. how much tears i've shed alone. none. and of all people, you judged me. because i smoke. i'd never get the affections i need.

Just gimme some more courage to be heartless.

So who am i exactly.

2010-07-10T22:18:00.001+08:00

Baby says i always talk about amanda,shannon,amirah,jiasi..liyi,joey ect ect.
she said i looked happy when i talk about em.
i kinda agree and misses the past. Sentimental you may call it. but i'm snapping out of it and prolly say that i refuses to accept that it was all water under the bridges. No matter what, things aint the same and we'll never be the same. just like how me and manda will never be buddies again, is the same like how me and liyi drifted so far apart but i just don't want to admit it. shannon,amirah.. all that i can remember were how close we used to be in our basketball days. but it's all so far back in the past.
I saw weiting today and i actually gave her a hug. i felt close, like how we were in the past. the bond the friendship, but yet when we bid goodbye, it felt so formal again. i was close to tearing.
no matter how badly i miss all of you/them. i guess even the simplest saying hi or bye isn't the same anymore.
because time passes and people change. i might have changed/grown but somewhere in my heart, i miss them and wished it's gonna be the same. But that's not possible.

okay. and what am i?
To conclude me, i shall say that there's only a slight difference in being courteous and hypocritical.
I want to remain courteous

2010-07-09T18:21:00.002+08:00

i want my room to be filled with popeyes next time.
baby popeye, old popeye and young popeyes. <3

2010-07-09T03:26:00.001+08:00

okay i am considering to shift my blog already
since i've got wordpress and livejournal.
yea till my nuffnang hits 50 and i'll be off to somewhere ..
far away from all those peering eyes of curious onlookers. to somewhere where i'd be open to people who cares genuinely

oh and does anyone knows how to retrieve old blogger's password or view privated blog. hmmm
i privated my prev blog and i want to get back those pictures so badly.

2010-07-09T01:46:00.001+08:00

baby got me popeye soft toys and i'm elated. because she has been searching for it in hk the other time and now she bought it despite being broke. i'm gonna cut hair tomorrow. and i've decided to change hairstyle. but please no more horrendous haircuts.
shall catch a movie with b tomorrow.

and germany lost. money fly. nabeizxzx

and and and, i think i sprained my neck while sleeping yesterday. i cant keep my head straight without it hurting. and i miss my baby dearly. she's fast asleep cause she's dead tired. hate it that i couldn't stayover as i need to bring boyboy for walks. but i am sure baby's understanding enough to understand me. heh.

and shit i'm watching hk dramas again. means i'm gonna get hooked to it.. wheee. i like \m/

You can't have roses that doesn't have thorns

2010-07-06T04:04:00.004+08:00

yes like i've said just don't pin hopes on me or have faith in me.

just fucking go with the crowd and bet that i'd fail again cause it's nothing new.

孤傲是为了保护自己而倔强是为了掩饰不安的情绪

2010-07-04T01:03:00.002+08:00

the puzzle for b. :)

B suprised me at 12am. sweet :) pretty flowers i received <3
Spent quality time together. went town after work for dinner and chilled and spent loving loving time. HAHA. Stayed over and went home in the late afternoon.

Reached jp and almost had dinner alone. i stood outside char chan teng and decided if i should dine in alone. the chicken congee and iced yuan yang is tempting. but i think it's quite stupid that since i am alone i could have ate something cheaper. hahaha.
And so, nurrah decided to have dinner with me and came over.
i was printing pictures and bought the board. spent around 50 for the board, nurrah says that i'm insane but i'm happy :) Avliya said that it's not wasting money as long as it made me happy. Haha, yea it certainly did.
But i'm happier that i met them both. :)
i feel so proud of my board. LOL

and thats when i thought of that if pictures were meant for keepsake, to preserve memories, then why didn't we take pictures of moments of rage, anxiety, jealousy, depression, tears, nor fears and not the dead but newborn babies and only happy moments in life.

2010-06-30T03:26:00.003+08:00

i'm not ashamed of being retained cause i know best i deserve it. I need not you,you or you to come tell me about it.
And yes mom, if i retain again i can jolly well quit, i know. So are you actuall thinking i'll fail again? C'mon just can't you have faith in me? Just why am i trying to fight when the even you look down on me. Or maybe you don't, you just lost hope on me. Whatever it is. Yes i know i'm hopeless. Thanks man. :)

And idiots, betting on a few games doesn't make me a compulsive gambler.
Dumb or dumb? Siao.

2010-06-22T02:27:00.000+08:00

First movie date :)

And

the

date

starts

here,

I lied that i was at Cineleisure & i've failed. Smart gf that i have.

Had dinner at Coffee Club then we walked to Shaw house, before walking back to Cine and baby had her porridge at Hk cafe and we had our iced yuan yang.

And there i saw two Toh(s). Interesting, Phoebe Toh followed by Jolene Toh.

We spammed pictures while waiting for the movie.

Headed back to baby's home and slept.

And we went town for a sumptuous dinner at b's fav place(i guess? or one of it) and went for window shopping.

See, happy face. (Y) love you!

B says i look different here, less kiddo in this outfit. (it's hers) she like. i like (Y)

Lemme act a bit. AHAHAHAHA.

Two days straight of just us, and another two days with each other and waking up with each other.

Drama mama happened at home last night.

Lil arguements here and there but we'll get thru all this fine..

I'm already trying my best to not make you feel shared or that i still love her.

Don't worry b, she used to have my love but it's all in the past.I know i still haven't treated you well enough, but i'm making it there already, :)

Let's doubt less and trust more. Let's not mention about them anymore cause it's all about us right now.

you have my heart now.

Yours :)
I know it's hard, the way we started, the way we got together and all those little things, but we'll make it there
No one else matters.

2010-06-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

Okay i promise to work on my camera skills. haha

Had some sort of arguement last night afterwhich baby came over and we had supper ^^ B accompanied me to cut my hair and i sent her to work.

And so i went to sunset way and bought boyboy's food. and i actually took a bus all the way back to boonlay interchange and took bus again. interesting. i looked like siao ginna carrying such a big pack of food on a crowded bus during the peak hour. hah

I know that i've not done enough, but i will.

Sorry for letting you felt shared. i shall devote all my attention to you.

I know i have been mentioning about her and i will not already.

All's about me and you <3

I know about all the insecurities you felt, i will kiss them all away.

I strive to make you the happiest girl in the world.

okay lah, i be more man a bit so you wont feel like the guy k. AHAHAH.

ILOVEYOU :)

My BFF

2010-06-16T06:09:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday lovely. :)

Now can take out ic and smoke already huh. Hurry go get license and bvroom me around.
Man, i really appreciate how you've been or tried to be there for me. And the depth of our friendship certainly cant be measured by how long we've known each other. And even tho we don't meet up often, but i know you'll always be there for me just like how i'd definitely be here for you.
Go and enjoy your day babe. Shall treat you to dinner when you're free.
eh, don't yaya now 18 already uh. hehe, BFFFFFFFF.

To you. All OTHERS SHUT UP.

2010-06-16T06:08:00.001+08:00

I feel that fucking care about your face too much and you're fucking ego.

Just like how you actually wanted me back yet you didn't want to make it look like you're begging. No i don't want you back but what's funny is that you never even fought for it. To think i've put in so much efforts, did so much and loved you so much, all in exchanged for all the shits and that mere "take care" letter.

No i'm not saying all this because i still feel for you or can't move on. It's precisely because i've already moved on that's why i'm able to say such stuffs.i just don't want to have anything to do with you anymore.You and your glamorous lifestyle, your facades, your different faces.i loved them all.but right now, i'm starting to feel disgusted by every single thing.And I really just want you to fuck off from my life. And that will only be possible if you'd stop treating my mom as your mom.Have you ever heard of couples breaking up and the other party still visit the family and stuffs like that? it's not as if we spent a decade together or something. Yes they were upset about losing you initially, but they've also gradually realise that it's totally gone and i have my love now. And what they loved about you were one of the different faces you had. Not the real you. I won't smear your reputation, don't worry. Just let the past be water under the bridge. You continue with your life, be it you shine or fall, it's not my concern, i rot i die also not of your area of concern.

I'll thank you if you'd kindly just stay away from my place.

- love is not a game. And it's not love when you love your face way better.you know its love when you're able to tolerate all those shits and believe that she loves you even tho you felt more like a PA.you know it's love when you put her as your priority but you're only an option to her. you know it's love when you're willing to cast aside your dignity and face and cry and beg like a dog when all she wanted to leave you. you know it's love when you just choose to continue loving and begging her back even tho you knew it was crap that her feelings could fade so easily and you should let her go.

Yes i did felt unworthy of you in the past. But come to think about it.
I'm sure i loved you more than any of your ex did and i'm sure i treat you better than anyone did or anyone will and i gave more than anyone can afford.

To conclude this, I'm totally done. :)

Love you so :)

2010-06-16T04:47:00.004+08:00

Henderson wave with baby. Trying to act puppy love, ahaha.

Fucking dunno what park, walk till sweat like wtf. just bathed before coming out lor damned.

And so we walked to HarbourFront Mac for supper. The walk was fun. Engaging in conversations and holding hands walking down. Missed the last bus cause of my routine of smoking after eating. And there i cried like an idiot cause mom told me she's leaving. i think i siao, cry until like mother die. (TOUCHWOOD)

And she's back home today. Cool or what. Waste my tears.

Okay b, hope you've enjoyed the day just like i did.

Spending the time with you, waking you up for breakfast and then spending quality time together, watching show, heart2heart talk and falling asleep together :) \m/

Okay i can guarantee that my face confirm fat now.

TO THAT MAVIS CHAN MIN JIA

2010-06-14T12:51:00.001+08:00

"look like me nevermind, don't bastard like me can already" "i handsome, she cute". (Oh come on, don't compare me to you. And i think you're nowhere near handsome. )
wtf? sick in the brain, or somewhere there, proud of being a bastard huh? Oh should i be honored you checked me out or googled me? Seriously, get some life and i don't need you to comment if i'm good looking or only cute looking to you or i look like i'm 15,tyvm. And i think my gf is better off without trash like you. So don't mention about coming back as a friend or whatever. I'll definitely thank you for that. :)

P.S
Feeling bitchy. Pardon me :)

And so i came over in the morning. Bought porridge and squeezed on the MRT with the working group.
It shall be a wonderful day.

PARTY ALL NIGHT. EXAGGERATING ONLY. TWO NIGHTS :D

2010-06-13T19:10:00.002+08:00

Maxwell market before heading to Play.

Play.

It was meant as a farewell for Serene. Nydc for failed cake outing.

Headed to Maxwell for porridge n last min decision to Play.

Dating at Sentosa. Haha.

Azzura.

We sneaked in. Didn't wanted to go as it was stupid paying 20plus for the tickets.

But since we can sneak it, we did. Ahaha.

Anita like forever "lightbulb". AHAha.

Joey.s and xinyu were there as well.

And so, After the party ended at 3am, we waited till 3.45 before getting our bags and decided to walk out of Sentosa. Taxi queue damn long plus all cabs are on-called. So i actually suggested "lets try to walk out of Sentosa. Confirm lo-mantic". And everyone agreed.

Walk walk, haven't even halfway joey.s wanna on call cab already. We dragged her and continue. She damn funny, say let's sit down and take a break, her bf dragged her. HAH One whole group of people walking out of Sentosa. But not too bad lah, there's others walking as well. Not bad. it took us 48 min to reach harbour front mac. But it didn't felt that long.

First evidence of the journey. Haha, walking on the road where car drives.

remembered someone exclaming "bu shi ren zou de lu ah!!!"

Walked damn long before reaching this gantry.

Okay, not bad lah, we get to walk past universal studio. haha
super high when we this this. but it took us another 10-15 mins before reaching Mac.

Afer reaching mac, went to buy Milk and coffee. ha. see how sweaty

My hot girlfriend, looks so awake hur.

Okay everyone damn shag after walking out.

headed to baby's place and slept. then had curry chicken at queensway.

So our dating outing considered fail. Shall go there again.

Sentosa, Henderson wave, Marina Barrage, Botanic Garden, Spca, Dog farms.

You & me only.

Sorry baby.

iloveyou :)

TO MY ONE AND ONLY WONG YING NAM

2010-06-10T18:08:00.002+08:00

Gone are those days of whispering sweet-nothings all day long and those starry-eyed affections or those merrymakings of being in a puppylove relationship. Maybe the way i treat you isn't like how i used to treat her. but it doesn't mean i don't love you as much. i'm older now and i've grown. Commitments and responsibilities is much more practical. Certainly not at those stage of being able to love like there's no tomorrow and love is all it takes in a relationship. Because you and i know it isn't so.
But i'm sure you'll treat me better than they did and i'll love you more than 'they' did.

2010-06-08T04:19:00.000+08:00

hello friends, it's only fair that i share this piece of good news with you!

I'm hers. :)

OOPS TAKEN! Muahaha.

Yep, the sweet and silly girl who came over in the middle of the night and light candles. The one whom sat with me in the middle of the road for hours with boyboy. :)
off to find my silly girl,

2010-06-08T01:00:00.001+08:00

awesome

2010-06-06T07:23:00.003+08:00

\m/ best lah, can't sleep. damn I have been pigging lately. The other day at holland, I had katong laksa. Then acc b to buy frolick, and I had wanton mee, and in less than an hour. I had ya kun bread! And I finished everything. Scary! I still refuse to believe I have such a huge appetite. Then just now I had pork chops and was still hungry so ordered hor fun. I think at this state I'm going, I'll be a fatty in no time. And not to forget about my beer belly. Ahaha! Okay. So many things to do. 1. Visiting the zoo w b. 2. Picnic at botanical garden or marina. 3. Working. 4. Mugging. 5. Catching up with people. 6. Spending quality time with mummy. 7. Holidays! Hongkong with b,anita and serene. Lets save money and shop and eat like crazy!! I wanna go thailand, bali and genting as well. LOL! 8. Go gym. 9. Playing bball every week. Jiasi must not ps me. Heh. 10. Cut down on ciggies. Best is quit. 11. Suntan-ing. Okay now gg back to sleep. Bye.

Okay wait. I miss yuanting, nurrah and avliya.

2010-06-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

the other day at 313, it kinda felt awkward cause there seems to be nothing to talk about between me and yan.
simple qns like how are you seems so.. strange and weird. it's kinda upsetting tho.

2010-06-03T04:36:00.001+08:00

i think i can say i can't find anyone who knows me well inside out.
like i've always said it's prolly due to the image that i've portrayed or impressions that i give.
even my mom doesn't.
okay dont bother coming back to my site, no wordy post as long as i am not emo. haha but it's not that hard either. as long as i think of my mom i will emo.
okay siao, going to sleep. bye

2010-06-03T04:14:00.000+08:00

"i like to walk with her and her dog and seat in the middle of the road for hours"

i like it as much as you did and the hours felt like minutes. <3

2010-06-01T19:37:00.000+08:00

I used to have a wish that is one day,the family would be able to sit down and have dinner together.
it doesn't have to be a table filled with delicacies. i think it'd still be delicious even if we're eating plain veggies.
however time passes and people change. we grow up and we fly.
seems like nobody is bothered that we can't have a meal with complete family members around.
ever since i've entered secondary, we never really had the time to sit down and enjoy meals like we used to.
and i'm always having dinner alone.
even my favorite food doesn't taste the same anymore. and no matter how hungry i am, i just couldn't finish the plate of rice.
but i guess.. even if we were to sit down for dinner, nothing will be the same anymore.

2010-05-30T03:09:00.000+08:00

i hate to admit how much i'm affected. i hate it that i turned back to drinking.
and it's hilarious how i almost stripped and jumped into the pool.
it's also funny how you managed to missed me when i was right in front of you.
not fated to be

2010-05-28T19:44:00.000+08:00

I really wanna have a tattoo and eyebrow piercing, but i guess it won't materialize because at the end of the day, i dont't wanna upset mom as i know she hates it. However so, i am definitely gonna buy a bike next year much to mom's and dad's opposition. I have so much things i want. But i guess the most important is being able to buy food for boyboy :)
I wanna go on a holiday with b during the end year holiday. Maybe to HongKong or Genting/KL and visiting my kampong.
Overall, i only passed two subjs ..

2010-05-28T18:51:00.000+08:00

Two days ago, the white dog started having explosive diarrhea and he actually shitted at home. The first morning i woke up and cleaned it. The second morning, i was awoken by my mom to clean the diarrhea. I stood there, stoning and staring at the shit. Thinking of how to clean it up cause it has already dried up. Then i proceed to go inside the balcony and clean it up. Halfway thru, i decided to seat down and stoned at the shit just right infront of my nose. I guess my mom must think i'm mad. I almost puked before that. And i held my breath. After stoning for 10mins, i cleaned it up and walked the dogs.
I sent b to work and went LWS followed by 313 for dinner.
Wanted to go Play but decided not to in the end, So had porridge at Maxwell and went home with b. Went for lunch with b this afternoon and received a call that spoilt my mood totally. "ZaiZai laosai again, come back and clean it i cannot take the smell anymore". She screamed on the phone. Well, and i was thinking, it was her who agreed to keep the dog as the owner is giving her $100 per month. And i am definitely not obliged to do whatever i'm doing because i'm not receiving a cent and am going the extra mile. Thats why i definitely don't deserve all this shits.

So i took my own sweet time and reached home. Let the dogs into the living room and began cleaning. Staring at the shits, idk to laugh or frown or be pissed. And i decided to laugh it off. I think it's quite funny. The stench is seriously overwhelming but i can still whistle and sing song while washing the balcony. And i kept thinking in my head, what did i do to deserve all this shit. My mom was kinda staring at me cus i'm smiling and playing around with the water, singing song and whistling in my own world. She probably must think that i'm on drugs or smth.I was laughing because I'm laughing at my own stupidity, because of my love for dogs and thus i get taken for granted by people like him and her.

Morale of the story - Having a dog doesn't mean you'd be greeted by tails wagging at you when you're home. you'd be welcomed by shits every morning without fail and explosive diarrhea once in awhile.
HAHA.